Finding Forever
by Ella Turner
Summary: After losing her 50 years ago, Jasper is reunited with his former fiance Bella who doesn't remember anything from her human life but what happens when the circumstances aren't what he hoped for? *Terrible at summaries, my 1st story* J/B/E
1. Chapter 1

JPOV (flashback)

"_Can you believe we've been together this long?" She asked me, her mahogany hair was blowing in the wind, and a smile graced her lips. After four years, I was still completely in awe of her beauty. Everything about her captivated me._

"_Its funny that you should mention that," I started, my hand resting nervously in my pocket. The velvet box had been burning a hole there all day; I was just waiting for the perfect time to do this right._

_She turned her beautiful face toward me, and I could see the small smile on her lips but the confusion in her chocolate eyes._

"_Why is that?" She asked._

_I moved to where I was in front of her, I was on my knee but since she was also sitting on the ground in front of me, she didn't notice what that meant._

"_Bella, I love you, more than anything in this world, you know that. I was in love with you before we even got together, and I know I will spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you do the same?" I asked, as I finally brought out the box and opened it in front of her._

_She gasped and tears flooded in her eyes. Her cheeks turned red (how I love it when she blushed) and she threw her arms around me and held me close. I let out a sigh of contentment. _

"_I'm yours" She whispered. Those two words meant more to us than most. It had been the words I first told her when we got together, whenever she asked me to go anywhere, whenever she felt insecure, and it was even the inspiration and name of the song I wrote for her. My heart raced, and everything was perfect._

_I didn't care that we were nineteen and I didn't care that everyone would probably think we were crazy. All I saw was her, and all that mattered was her. I was ready to begin my life with the person I loved above everything else._

I couldn't stop the memories from coming, no matter how hard I tried. My plans for the perfect life were shattered only days after that.

_I knew we shouldn't have been in the woods that late at night. I barely saw them before I knew what was happening, there were four of them. Their eyes were red, that shouldn't have confused me, but at that time, I didn't even know vampires existed. We were hours away from home, no one was there to help us. _

_Everything was so fast, one grabbed Bella and instantly I lunged, the biggest one grabbed me by the throat and threw me down. My head was spinning, and in an instant, Bella and the two attackers were gone, leaving two with me. I scrambled to get up, only to be pushed down again, and this time, the bigger grabbed my left leg, and the next thing I heard was a loud snap. The pain was excruciating, but I wouldn't let it stop me. I had to get to Bella, so again, I tried to get up._

"_Bella!" I called out._

"_You just don't know when to quit do you?" The smaller one laughed. His eyes were a little different from the others, but I couldn't place how. The pain was almost too much to bear. He grabbed me, and threw me on the ground. My head hit something hard, and I could feel the blood start to come out. That was the last thing I remembered until they were leaving. I was barely conscious and in so much pain that I couldn't even see._

"_Are we just going to leave him here?" One asked._

"_We don't need him, let's go!" The other yelled. Everything was quiet. I felt a sudden burning starting from my neck, I screamed out but no one was there, the last thing I could think of was Bella. I let them take her. I wasn't strong enough to save her! I screamed for her again, and then everything was black._

_~*~_

_I didn't know how long it had been, but when I woke up, I couldn't even open my eyes yet. I inhaled and a thousand different scents flooded into me. This was different. The stinging was gone, I actually didn't feel anything. My first thoughts were of Bella._

"_Bella," I mumbled, my voice was strange. It was smooth and sounded completely different than before. I had a small accent from living in Texas years ago, but now it was barely there._

"_Carlisle, he's waking up," I heard another voice say, it was male, and it also sounded very smooth. I opened my eyes, and instantly I had to close them again, everything was so bright. I tried again, and noticed how everything looked different. More in focus, colors seemed more beautiful, everything was much sharper. _

_Finally I looked at the two men that were in the room with me. I had no idea where I was, or who they were, and suddenly, I was up and against the wall, crouching like I was an animal ready to attack. Everything happened so fast, all I had to do was think about moving, and instantly I was there. _

_The taller one with blonde hair had his hands up trying to show me he was harmless. All of a sudden I was hit with a bunch of different emotions. Fear, confusion, calm, understanding. How was I feeling this? Other than confusion, these weren't my feelings. They were coming from the two men before me._

"_I'm Carlisle, and this is Edward. We found you in the woods and brought you back to our home. We don't mean any harm. You were attacked by two vampires and they bit you. We tried to get the venom out before it spread, but we had arrived too late. So we brought you here to help you," He said. _

_Carlisle's skin was pale and his eyes were gold. He looked to be in his mid to late twenties. I looked over to the other one, Edward. His skin was just as white, his hair was a bronze color that seemed to have a style of its own, and his eyes were also gold. He looked my age. He had a cup in his hands, and after I inhaled, all I knew was that I wanted the cup. I didn't intend on hurting him, so in an instant, I was before him, grabbing the cup from his hands, and drinking whatever was inside. I hadn't realized how bad my throat was burning until I had noticed the cup. I was thirsty, and whatever this was, the taste was unlike anything I had tasted before._

_I could feel that I frightened Edward for a second, but it was short lived. He calmed down, and in a flash had another cup he offered to me, which I took greedily. _

_The next few weeks, I learned what my new life was going to be like. I was a vampire, I did not age, I didn't sleep, and all the natural human mannerisms were no longer needed. I didn't have to blink or even breathe. I could stand forever and not be tired; I had to avoid sunlight, because in it my skin would shine. My speed, strength, and senses were magnified by a thousand, and my diet would drastically change. Human food was now appalling to me; my only thirst was for blood._

_My new family had a different way of approaching their thirst. Most vampires drank human blood, but the coven that found me only drank from animals. That way they could still live among the humans. We were in Alaska at the time; we didn't have to worry too much about humans here. My leg, which had been broken from one of the vampires that attacked me, was now healed. Everything was so different._

_My family consisted of 6 other vampires. Carlisle and Esme Cullen were our "adoptive parents" to others. They looked so young that no one would believe they had five teenagers. Carlisle was a doctor who was now completely over human bloodlust, he was never even tempted. He was calm and gentle with everyone; I looked up to him a lot._

_Esme was the sweetest woman I had ever met, instantly she took me in and regarded me as her son without hesitation. She is fiercely protective over all of us, and genuinely a wonderful person._

_Rosalie was playing as my real sister, so my last name had been changed from my human name Whitlock to Hale. She was blonde, and very conceited. Others viewed her as the most beautiful girl in the world, but next to my Bella she was nothing. Deep down Rosalie was a good person, and she loved us all loyally, but she loved herself even more._

_Emmett was my brother, he was big and goofy. You see nothing but muscle with him which is intimidating as hell until you start talking with him. He is the big brother that everyone wishes they had._

_Edward was there when I first woke up and I could tell what he was like just from the emotions he was feeling. He was the fastest of all of us. He was incredibly smart and talented, loved to play music, and always kind and polite. He had a gift, he could read minds, which did get annoying at times, but eventually you learn to live with it._

_Then there was Alice, the smallest of the group. She looked like a pixie with her short black hair that stood in every direction, but it looked good on her. She was smaller than Bella even which was hard to do, considering she was tiny also. She had a gift too, she could see the future. Not always, but she could see changes that were to come. It was a good gift to have living the life we were in. _

_My gift was emotions. I could sense them and manipulate them. Instantly I could tell that Alice had liked me, Rosalie was angry that I didn't find her attractive, and everyone else just had open acceptance of me. _

_They taught me everything I needed to know, and eventually I got used to the thirst and could control myself around other humans without wanting to attack them. Once that happened, I told them I had to leave. I didn't give them my reasoning, and I blocked my thoughts from Edward._

"_I understand that you have to go, but please know that you will always have a place to come back to. You know how to get a hold of us, if you don't find what you are looking for, please come back," Esme said the day I was leaving. She looked so upset, all of them did. I didn't want to hurt them, but I had to find Bella. _

_I looked for a year, following any lead that I got, which wasn't much of anything. I went back home, but didn't go to see anyone I knew. My hearing was magnified, so just by standing outside my house, I could hear my parents. Our house was huge; they were both very well off. They spent more time working then they ever did with each other or even me for that matter. Finally, they were sharing something together, sadness. They spoke about me, and how they found my car, but never my body. They never found Bella's body either, fighting the urge to go inside, I left again. It was too painful._

_After coming up with nothing, and feeling completely empty on the inside, after that year, I went back to the Cullen's. They, of course, welcomed me back with open arms, and that's where I have been ever since. _

_We moved around so we could live normal lives, Alaska was nice, but we all wanted to go somewhere else. We all went through high school passing off as juniors and staying till we graduate, then move on about a year later. I had been to high school a total of 17 times in the last 50 years, but something told me this year was going to be big._


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay so the first time I published this, I didn't get to do more of a review or anything, but if you just read it I don't think its necessary haha. Please understand that this is my first fanfic and I'm not all that great at it, but hopefully you enjoy it!!!! I thank all of you that have read and added to the story alert or favorites and to my reviewers! Let me know what you think! Even if you think I'm terrible :)  
**

**I do not own Twilight or any characters because I'm not cool enough!**

(Present day) JPOV

I had convinced my family to move to Forks Washington, my old home town. It had been long enough to where everyone I knew was long gone. The weather was nearly always overcast and rainy so we didn't have to worry much about the sun. The best part of all was that I found my old home, and it was available. It was tucked away in the woods, so we had our privacy, and since we all have way more money than we would ever need, it was simple to get.

We have been living here for about three months, and school was starting that day. Its not that I look forward to high school, but it gives us all something to do. We don't die and we don't age, so it gets terribly boring if we're home all the time. 

"I'm sorry I'll be gone for a month, but don't worry, I'll be back in no time," Edward explained to Alice. She was pouting because Edward was going back to Alaska for a month. He didn't give us a reason on why he was leaving; he just said that he got the feeling that he was needed there. I didn't question him; he knew what he was doing.

"Have fun, stay out of trouble," I said as he clapped me on the back before he left.

"Always." He answered with his usual smile, and with that, he was gone. Alice took it the hardest; Edward was the closest thing she had to a real brother.

"Come on, Rosalie and Emmett already left. Let's get to school," I said.

It was always difficult to start off the new school year, because the attention is on us all the time. Because we are vampires, we are more beautiful than the rest of the students there, we have a certain grace that they don't have, and even our voices stand out. Not to mention we are extremely pale and very intelligent.

As usual, we stuck together at breaks and in any classes we had together, but this year I had no classes with any of them. This was going to be a boring year. Hopefully when Edward comes back, I'll at least have one class with him.

I ambled slowly into my last class of the day, and found a seat in the back. There were only a few students in the class already, but I could hear them whispering about the family.

"His father is the new doctor in town. He adopted all of them, and I heard there is another brother that will be coming later," I heard a girl say. I shook my head at how nosey these people were, and started reading my book. By the time the teacher called the class to attention, the seats were full and I hadn't even noticed.

My stomach dropped when I looked directly in front of me, a girl with mahogany hair and Bella's build sat right in front of me. Could this be her? Had Bella been changed? After 50 years of sadness and self resentment could I be faced with her again? I needed to somehow see this girl, but I didn't know how to do it without being obvious. Once the teacher asked us to get out a piece of paper and a pen, I had my chance.

I reached out lightly and tapped her shoulder. She turned her head to the side, but not enough for me to see anything because her hair was covering her face.

"Can I borrow a pen please?" I asked softly. She froze for a second, and then started to grab an extra pen. If I had a heart, it would be beating a thousand miles per minute.

"Sure," she said, as she started to hand it to me. Once she faced me completely, the disappointment on my face was evident. She wasn't Bella; I had been clinging to any hope that I would someday see her again. Even just for a second, just to see that she was okay. I would want to be with her forever, but if I couldn't have forever, a second would be enough for me.

I thanked "NotBella" and started working, cursing myself for getting my hopes up. It was like this every year. There was always one girl that reminded me of her. The eyes, the hair, the smile, or the build. It was my own personal hell, but I deserved it for not being able to save her.

After the first three weeks of school, people started to get used to us. The whispers had died down some, but not much. I was used to all the attention I got from the girls, even though I really didn't talk to any of them. I always found random phone numbers in my locker or notes, girls would just come up to me and ask me out, or shamelessly flirt until Alice would walk up, and they would all leave. It always made me laugh; she had so much power for such a small person.

"You're hiding something from me, I can tell. And the worst part is you want to tell me what it is," I told her as she leaned against the locker next to mine. She smiled her devilish smile and turned away.

"No fair, stop using my feelings against me," She laughed. I shut my locker and we started out to my car. I could tell a couple weeks ago when we got the first call from Edward. He made her promise not to tell us what it was and it was killing her inside.

"You could save yourself the trouble and just tell me," I smiled at her. I shouldn't use my charm against her, it's not fair. She has been in love with me for quite some time, and I have been known to use it to my advantage at times. Nothing terrible, just when I want information.

"How about we make a deal? I will tell you the secret if you tell me yours," She tempted. It stopped being playful after that comment. I hadn't told anyone of Bella, it hurt too much. They all noticed that I had a sadness about me that never really went away. I kept to myself for the most part, of course I joined the family in everything, but there was a part of me that I didn't want to share.

"No," I snapped. The rest of the drive home was quiet. I felt guilty, but she knew not to bother me about it.

Before we walked in the door, Alice stopped and went completely still. Her eyes got glossy and she took a deep breath. This is what happens when she has one of her visions about the future.

"Edward's coming home early. He'll be here tomorrow with his surprise," She said softly.

"Alice, I'm sorry for snapping earlier," I apologized. She smiled at me reassuringly.

"It's okay. Whatever it is, it's obviously something that's painful to talk about. I shouldn't have pushed you," She said. She hugged me lightly and skipped away before I could say anything else.

Suddenly the air around me changed, Esme was filled with excitement and joy, Carlisle was also excited and curious, and both were anxious. Whatever Edward was telling them over the phone had them ecstatic. Something big was coming, I could tell.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I want to thanks all my readers and subscribers, you guys are great! Sorry for the late update, I'm not usually around on the weekends so it takes me a little longer! **

**I don't own anything Twilight (exept the books... and maybe Jasper... in my closet. Just sayin')**

Being at school and dealing with Alice's excitement was almost too much to bear. She was already at my locker after my last class before I even stepped into the hallway. She was bouncing up and down and telling me to hurry up. The people around us were all looking at her like she was crazy.

"Calm down, you're making a scene," I said quietly. She sighed and pushed me aside, grabbing my history book out of my locker, and taking the books in my hands and throwing them inside. In a flash she shut the locker, grabbed my hand, and yanked me out to the car.

We pulled up to the house, and before I could open the garage to pull the car in, she jumped out the door and told me she would see me inside.

"Spaz," I called out. She glared at me and disappeared into the house. Edward's silver Volvo was back in the garage and I was happy that he was home. We were pretty close and I had missed him more than I was letting off.

I walked into the house and everyone was standing in the den talking. Emmett was in the way, but from what I could tell, Edward had brought home a girl.

Good for you, Edward. I thought, knowing that he could hear me. He smiled at me and held his hand out for his new girlfriend to follow him, once she came into my view, my world changed in an instant. If I had a heart, it would have stopped beating completely.

"Jasper, I want you to meet Bella," He said. For the first time in 50 years, I did something human, and not because I forced myself to… I stumbled. This would have been nothing if it was any of the others in the house, but I was the most graceful out of all of them. The entire family looked at me and was instantly confused about what happened. Even Edward was shocked. I instantly blocked my thoughts from him, I didn't need him seeing into my thoughts at the moment.

Her hair was still the same beautiful brown; her eyes were no longer the warm chocolate color, but rather gold like the rest of ours, a little darker though. That means she also feeds on animals, and probably hasn't hunted in a while. She was still as petite as ever, and her beauty was beyond anything I could ever imagine. My love was standing in front of me, and I could tell by the look on her face, that she had no idea who I was.

BPOV

I had been with Edward for a month, and he was everything I had ever wanted. I had a hard time after I was changed; I had no memory of my life as a human. Everything was blank. Even after Tanya took me with her to Alaska, I didn't feel like I fit anywhere. Then I met Edward and everything was better. And now I was standing in his house, meeting his wonderful family.

He introduced me to his brother Jasper, and instantly I was attracted to him. I couldn't tell what it was, Edward was of course perfect in every way, but Jasper had a different perfection about him. I quickly pushed the feeling aside, and realized that Jasper was looking extremely confused.

He stumbled when he stepped forward to meet me, which even I didn't do, and I am pretty clumsy. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung slightly open, as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you," I offered my hand and smiled at him. He focused his eyes now, on my ring. It was an engagement ring, but not from Edward. It was the only thing I had left from my human life.

"It's very nice to meet you too," He said after a minute. He was a little weird, but something about him made me feel calm. Edward put his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

"They all love you by the way," He whispered to me. I looked down, and if I were human, I might have been blushing. I looked over to Jasper who was staring at me, and smiled lightly at him, wondering why he seemed so strange.

"Jasper, honey, are you alright?" Esme called out. Jasper snapped back into focus and nodded lightly.

"Fine," He answered. "I'm going to go hunt, I'll be back later," He said as he turned to walk out the door. Edward called his name and stopped him. Jasper slowly turned around to face us.

"Would you mind taking Bella with you? I hunted this morning while she and Tanya were packing her stuff up, and I didn't think about how long it had been since she had hunted," Edward asked. I was instantly embarrassed, I didn't want to force Jasper to take me with him.

"Its okay, I can wait," I argued. Jasper looked torn, and finally motioned for me to come with him. He didn't seem to like me very much, and I couldn't tell why that upset me the way it did.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I can never decide how long I want to make these chapters. And when I write in microsoft office or whatever, it seems really long. Then I paste it in here and it comes out looking like the last chapter. Gah! So this one is a little longer, but not by much. And anything in Italics is Jasper thinking to himself. Again thanks for all the reviews. I try to write back to each of you because you took the time to read and respond to me, so I'm doing the same :) You guys are awesome! **

JPOV

We found a spot in the woods and waited for any movement. I couldn't help but stare at her; she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I wanted to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. I prayed to have her back in my life, but this situation seemed a little harsh.

"So tell me about yourself?" I asked. I felt like an idiot.

"What do you want to know?" She asked with a small smile, the kind of smile that the Mona Lisa had, intriguing.

"Do you remember your human life?" I asked bluntly. Obviously she didn't or else she would have said something by now.

"Actually no. I guess I must have gone through a lot when I was changed. Even after I woke up I had no memory of it. All I have is this ring," She said, touching the diamond ring that she now wore on her right hand instead of the left. Flashbacks of the day I proposed filled my mind, and I quickly pushed it away.

"Does that upset you?" I asked. It hurt me more than she would ever know, but I knew it wasn't her fault.

"It makes me sad. It's strange but every time I look at this ring, or touch it, I get a certain feeling from it. I feel happiness and love wash over me, so I know that whoever gave this to me must have loved me. That sounds stupid, doesn't it?" She asked, looking away from me. I laughed gently.

"I feel emotions from people, and I can easily manipulate them. That sounds just about right to me," I said gently. She smiled at me, and it nearly rendered me breathless. (_Too bad I don't breathe_)

"So that's your gift? I think I have two. I'm apparently a shield, so no matter what anyone's power is, it won't work on me, or anyone I shield from it. And the other thing I'm not really sure of. I get flashes of stuff, like it just pops into my mind, or if something seems familiar I draw them out. I'm not sure what it means though," She said. That made me curious, but I figured I would save it for another time.

From the corner of my eye I saw a mountain lion spring into action, he was going after Bella. I immediately panicked and tackled it before it got anywhere near her. I broke its neck instantly, and looked over when I heard Bella laughing.

"Are you okay?" I asked. I had then realized that I overreacted. Bella wasn't human; the mountain lion wouldn't have hurt her. _Good one, loser._

"Why do you get to have all the fun?" She asked with a fake pout. This girl would be the death of me if I were able to die.

"Come and eat, I should get you back before someone thinks I kidnapped you," I said reluctantly. I didn't want to go back, seeing her with Edward hurt in a way I never knew existed. I wondered how much I would be able to put up with.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had been two weeks that Bella had been living with us, and I was literally making people depressed just from the feeling that was radiating off of me. I had to block my thoughts from Edward at all times, if not, he would have figured it out. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

Alice ambled into the house after she and Bella went shopping, they had immediately hit it off and became best friends. Edward had met them outside, and told Bella that he wanted to take her somewhere, the depression went up a notch and Alice literally took a step back when she entered the room I was in.

"Whoa Jazz, this is getting worse, you need to talk about whatever it is that is making you feel this way. You're affecting the whole family. Rosalie and Emmett won't even leave their room if you're here," She said.

"Sorry," I muttered, not really paying attention to her. She sighed and dropped her shopping bags as she walked over to where I was on the couch. She grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me up. I could have over-powered her but I didn't have the energy to fight. She pulled me into my room and shut the door.

"Tell me everything, now." She demanded. I needed to talk about this, and I figured if anyone, I would tell Alice. She was always here for me, and she loved me enough to keep the secret if I asked her. So I spilled everything, from the moment I first met Bella, until now. My emotions were going haywire ranging from love, fear, sadness, anger, jealousy, rage, and of course, deep depression.

"I'm sorry I'm affecting you all, I don't know how to stop it," I mumbled. When I finally looked up at Alice, one hand was lightly covering her mouth, and her eyes were wide. Sympathy radiated off of her.

"Why don't you tell her?" Alice asked.

"She's so happy with Edward, and he's just as happy, if not even more so. What would I even tell her? 'I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to save you' I mean come on!" I replied.

"Don't you think that she would be angry if she found out later, and realized you knew all along?" Alice asked. It was a good point, but what was I expecting her to do?

"If I did tell her, it's not like that would negate all her love for Edward and bring her back to me. She doesn't love me," I choked.

"I can't believe she practically lived with you in this house, and she doesn't even remember," Alice said, almost in a daze.

"You have to promise you won't say anything to anyone, or let Edward find out, okay?" I asked.

"I promise," She said softly. I felt a little better after telling someone, but it wasn't going to fix my problem.

We heard Edward and Bella talking, so Alice and I made our way back into the den where they were. He was holding her close and whispering softly to her, and I felt that familiar ache in my chest. Alice winced when she felt my emotion and looked over to me. She was sending me reassuring feelings, but I was confused as to why.

"Edward, can I borrow you for a little while? I need help with something in town. I saw a guy at the park grabbing a young girl in one of my visions and I was wondering if you could come and get into his head for me?" Alice said quickly. I sent her a warning glare, and she looked at me innocently, she knew she could have come up with something better than that.

"Of course," He answered immediately. He turned his attention to Bella, "I'll be back in a while, okay?" He asked. She immediately agreed, she was worried about the nonexistent kid that was going to be taken from a nonexistent kidnapper. I would have laughed if it weren't such a serious topic, leave it to Alice to overact.

Edward grabbed Bella and kissed her deeply. Alice looked over to me with sympathy and rushed Edward out the door quickly. They took off, leaving Bella and I in the den with no one here to interrupt us. Carlisle was at the hospital, and Esme was at one of her classes. Rosalie and Emmett usually tried not to be in the house if I was. We had a few hours before anyone came back.

"So, what do you want to do?" Bella asked me with an impish smile plastered on her face; I couldn't help but smile back, I had an idea.


	5. Chapter 5

JPOV

"I didn't know you knew how to paint," Bella said as she looked over at the easel in front of me. We were currently on the balcony of Bella and Edward's room, and we were both working on something. I had the easel and paint in front of me, and she was sitting on the ledge with her sketchbook and pencil.

"I'm not really good at it, I fake it mostly," I said with a smirk. I had always loved art, and music, and reading. She used to love the same things.

"I can't draw unless I see it. These sketches are all from the weird things that just pop into my head," She said, not looking up from her sketchpad. I stopped and watched her for a bit. She looked up at me after a moment and smiled.

"May I?" I asked, motioning for the sketchbook.

"Sure," She answered, handing it over with no problem. I silently flipped through each page and realized that all of these things she drew were familiar. The visions she gets are memories of when she was human. Excitement and sadness filled me all at the same time. I searched through the book to see if she might have drawn anything pertaining to me, but there was nothing. I was fighting the inner battle of telling her or not telling her.

"These are very good. You know, these places that you draw are actually around here. I recognize some of them," I said carefully, trying to act like I wasn't really paying much attention. I handed the book back and went back to my easel. From the corner of my eye, I could see her looking a little confused.

"That's weird," She said softly. After a long pause, she changed the subject. "I'm getting tired of drawing; do you want to do something else?" She asked. I nodded and followed her lead.

-

BPOV

Jasper opened the door to the only room in the house that I hadn't seen yet, his bedroom. Like every other room in the house, it was huge. His music collection outdid Edward's in every way. I laughed at the fact that everyone had a bed in their room, even though we had no need for them. Appearance, I guess.

The room gave me a familiar feeling, comforting in a way I couldn't describe. Everything about Jasper gave me that feeling now that I thought about it. I chalked it up to him being someone I could really relate to.

"For some reason, I think the bed should be on that wall instead," I said pointing to the wall across from us. He paused for a second, and chuckled lightly.

"It used to be," He answered softly. I watched him as he picked up his guitar and gently started strumming. A beautiful song filled the air and I sat down on the bed and listened to it. I couldn't put my finger on what song it was, but it sounded like something I've heard.

"Who is that by?" I asked after he stopped and lightly put the guitar back on the stand. He came and sat next to me.

"Me," He said laughing.

"It sounds so familiar, are you joking?" I asked, he was probably trying to mess with me. He looked at me intently, as if I were supposed to know the real answer.

"It's all mine. There are words to it too," He said, mocking me. I laughed.

"Can I hear them?" I asked. He never failed to surprise me. He was good at everything, just like Edward. It was endearing and annoying all at the same time.

"Maybe another time," He said looking away; I wondered if it hurt him to sing the song.

"Is it for someone?" I asked. The song was too sweet not to be.

"Yes," He answered softly. He looked like he was in pain, and I realized I needed to change the subject.

"So there's something I have been wondering. Since you feel the emotions of everyone, do you find yourself feeling like you're in love with people? Like you can feel that Emmett loves Rosalie, so when you are around him, do you love Rosalie?" I asked giggling. It was a stupid question, but it seemed to amuse him.

"Not necessarily, and definitely not with anyone in my family. If I'm at school and a guy is feeling a certain way about a girl, I will too, but it doesn't last long, and I know that they aren't my emotions. I only have problems if the feeling is really strong," He answered. That must suck for him.

"Wow, I'm sorry," I offered lamely. He smiled and shook his head.

"You ready to start school Monday?" Jasper asked me. Edward and I hadn't started school yet and we had been back for a while now. Edward wanted to go, so I agreed, I would feel awkward being here alone during the day.

"I hope so," I laughed. Outside, I could hear thunder but it wasn't raining. Thunder kind of freaked me out, but I never told anyone that. Jasper heard it too and looked over at me concerned.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I lied. He froze for a second, and was about to say something when his phone rang. He answered it and spoke for a second; I could hear Alice on the other end. He seemed excited when he hung up.

"Do you like baseball?" He asked with a wicked grin.

**Haha I always end at the worst times in this story. You all must be getting sick of that. Well, hope you like it, review and give me your ideas on where this is going! :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own Twilight blah blah blah... my favorite chapter (so far) is coming up after this one!!! I'm excited (kinda lol)**

JPOV

We were all at the field, warming up. We hadn't been able to play in a while, and when Alice called, I automatically knew what she was going to say. So far this day wasn't turning out too bad. I got to spend alone time with Bella, which proved to be interesting. Everything in her sketchbook was something from her human life, and she was even starting to remember certain things. When I was human, my bed had been on the other wall in my room, and she recognized her song. It wasn't a lot, but it was a step forward.

I didn't want to push it, because her finding out didn't seem like the best thing at the time. She still was very happy with Edward, and vice versa. I didn't want to hurt either of them, but I didn't know how to deal with seeing them all the time. It didn't help that Alice was always giving me a certain look that told me that I should come clean.

It was tradition that Carlisle always picked the 'team captains' and this time he picked Bella and Edward so they would be playing against each other. Edward offered to let Bella choose first, but she asked him to instead. He laughed lightly.

"Emmett," Edward called. We all knew that was an obvious choice. Emmett smiled and sauntered over to Edward, poking Bella lightly in the stomach as he passed her. She giggled and then looked out to the rest of us.

"Jasper? Will you be on my team?" She asked with uncertainty. She didn't want to pick me if I would have preferred to be on Edward's team.

"I'm yours," I said, walking over and standing next to her. She froze this time, looking at me intently. I regretted saying that instantly. Edward walked over to her and put his arm around her waist.

"Are you okay, love?" He asked her quietly. She was still in a daze, and only shook out of it when he squeezed her a little harder.

"Yeah, of course," She smiled. Edward made sure she was fine, and then kissed her lightly before picking the rest of his team. It was Edward, Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie against Bella, Carlisle, Alice, and myself.

BPOV

I'm yours. That sounded so familiar to me, other than the fact that they are two words you hear everyday. (Not necessarily together though) But the words struck me, and I couldn't even move. There was something about Jasper that was so familiar to me; I just couldn't place what it was.

We were both playing in the outfield, and Edward was up to bat. Alice threw her pitch (which was more graceful than anything I have ever seen) and when Edward hit the ball, it was coming right between Jasper and I. Neither of us called it, we just both went for it, which resulted in us running right into each other.

The sound of our bodies colliding clapped like thunder, and instantly, I was on the ground with Jasper on top of me. We were touching _everywhere_ and I felt completely embarrassed that I actually didn't mind the thought. Jasper and I stared at each other for what seemed like an hour, and suddenly, I got a flash of something.

Eyes, human eyes that were wide and blue and beautiful. I could tell they belonged to a man and behind them I could feel so much love, that I shuddered. I realized that Jasper was now standing, and offering me his hand to help me up.

"You alright Bells?" He asked, smiling lightly. I took his hand and let him pull me up.

"Yeah, just got one of those flashes I was telling you about. They always seem to make me a little dizzy," I answered, Edward was next to me in an instant, having heard all of that.

"We should probably stop anyway. We've been playing for quite a while," Edward said. The rest of the family agreed and I felt terrible. I tried to tell them that I was fine but they kept assuring me that it wasn't my fault.

We grabbed all the equipment and put it into Emmett's jeep. Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme drove back to the house, while the rest of us decided to run back. I noticed Alice looking to Jasper, then to me and then she got a small smile on her lips.

"Edward, I'll race you home?" She asked. Edward smiled and looked at me, as if to ask if that were okay with me. I nodded and he winked before he took off. Jasper laughed lightly next to me and slowed his pace. I looked at him in question.

"You don't have to slow down, I'm just not in a big hurry to get back to the house yet," He answered. I didn't know why, but I also slowed my speed so that I was practically walking with him. I liked being around him, and that was quickly turning into a problem.

"What's on your mind?" I asked.

"What was your vision earlier?" He asked back. I hesitated, but knew there was no reason to keep it from him.

"A pair of big, blue eyes that belonged to a man. That's all I saw, but it radiated a feeling. You could feel the love behind them," I replied. He seemed to think about this for a few minutes.

"That's pretty interesting. I'm going to go hunt, will you be okay going back, we aren't very far?" Jasper asked quickly. When I realized where we were, I could see the house from here. It was funny how much he worried.

"Of course. I'll let them know where you are," I answered, I wanted to go with him, but he seemed like he wanted to be alone. He thanked me and took off in the other direction. I watched for a while, almost expecting him to come back. Finally I turned around and made my way to the house.

**I wanted to put more in the baseball scene but every time I tried to make it longer, it seemed pointless and kinda forced. So it came out to that, sorry it was kinda short :-( But review and maybe I'll post another chapter later tonight ;-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm not too sure why, but this is my favorite chapter so far. I like the next one too... I was excited enough to post TWO chapters today!!! And thank you to all that reviewed!!! P.S. there is some cussing in this chapter, just to warn you.**

**I don't own Twilight yadda yadda yadda**

JPOV

It was raining when we all left for school, and Emmett and Rosalie left early, mainly so they wouldn't have to have me in the car with them. I didn't blame them for that, my mood was getting worse, and I was hurting the people around me. I wished more than anything that this was all a bad dream, but of course, there is no possibility of that. So Alice and I ended up riding with Edward and Bella because Alice pointed out that there was no reason to keep wasting gas. It dawned on me that I was going to buy a motorcycle, to avoid car rides with others. I would spare them the hurt.

I was surprised to see Edward in my third period science class; I hadn't been able to talk to him since we arrived at school because he and Bella needed to get their schedules. He had the seat next to mine and smiled at me when I walked in.

"Great, now I have someone to talk to," He replied. I smirked at him and took my seat. It was getting harder to talk to him now, because a big part of me felt guilty, a small part of me felt angry at him, and the rest of me was completely hopeless and wanted to shut everyone out.

"What's the rest of your schedule like?" I asked lamely. He handed me the paper showing his classes, we had no other classes together. I lightened up a little.

"I don't have any classes with Bella though," He said with a hint of anger. I handed him his schedule back.

"Couldn't dazzle the woman in the office into changing it?" I asked. He must be losing his luster.

"Mrs. Cope is out on pregnancy leave. It's a guy now," He said clearly annoyed.

"Have Bella do it then," I said as I pulled out my science book.

"She won't. She doesn't think it's fair. Go figure," he said. I chuckled lightly. He was quiet for a minute and I could feel that there was something he wanted to say. "You like her, right?" He asked. I paused, did he mean like her or _like_ her? I assessed his emotions and saw that he was genuinely curious if I thought she was a nice girl.

"Yeah, she's nice," I said. _And beautiful, and perfect, and mine... stop it._

"She has really taken to you. I mean she and Alice are joined at the hip, but she always seems so comfortable around you," He said. Where the hell was he going with this?

"I have that effect on people," I said trying to find something to occupy myself with. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Your gift doesn't work on her though. What I'm trying to say I guess is that I hope you like her. She always said she never fit in well with Tanya or the others, and she seems so normal with you. Like you've known her forever," He said. Could this be any worse? This was like those bad movies where the answer is painfully obvious and the stupid-but well-meaning-guy has yet to figure out that his girl and brother are hooking up.

"Maybe she knew someone like me in another life," I said dryly. _Stop, dumb ass! _Why couldn't I stop myself? The rest of the period went by painfully slow. I couldn't believe the attitude I had with Edward. He was my best friend; I needed to stop feeling such resentment. It wasn't even his fault; anyone in their right mind would fall for Bella.

BPOV

Classes were overwhelming, and the girls all seemed to hate me, while the guys were giving me suggestive looks. During lunch Edward was seething at all the thoughts coming from the boys of the school. I had to calm him down a few times, and let him know that it was inevitable. I was positive the girls were having the same thoughts about him, and it didn't bug me.

I was able to see Alice at lunch, and Emmett for a few minutes, but Rosalie was in the parking lot fixing something on Emmett's jeep, and Jasper was no where to be found. I hadn't seen him since the car ride that morning and he was being very quiet. He hadn't spoken to me since last night when he left to go hunt, and I was praying that I didn't do something to upset him.

When I walked into my last class, which was English, I was surprised to see Jasper sitting in the back. His head was buried in a book and the seat next to him was free, so I worked up the courage and walked over to him. Before I even sat down his face shot up and our eyes locked.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked. He was gripping his book tightly, the hardback cover started to bend out of place. I reached over and put my hand over his to stop him, if someone looked back, they would have noticed the mangled book. He flinched from my touch which hurt me in many ways.

"The emotions in the room all turned to either anger or lust," He spoke through his teeth. He seemed so angry. I must have done something to him, but I didn't know what it was. Class started, but Jasper never lightened up. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jasper, did I upset you? I'm so sorry if I did, I didn't mean to. Just please tell me what I did?" I asked. In another life, I would be crying. My words must have shocked him, because he looked over at me quickly with a hard expression. His face then softened a little.

"You didn't do anything, Bella. It is extremely hard to sit here and feel what these guys are feeling toward you right now. I don't mean to scare you, but some of these guys are feeling pretty aggressive about it. I'm doing what I can to not tear their heads off," He said, his voice was tightening again. A small part of me liked that he was feeling so protective. I had to stop this though, I loved Edward. He was everything to me, there was no denying that.

We still had a good twenty minutes left in class, the teacher was talking about a book we were supposed to be reading, but a few of the guys in the class had actually turned sideways in their seats and were openly staring at me. I couldn't blush, but my cheeks seemed to feel hot, I knew if I were human my face would have looked like a tomato. Jasper was gripping the side of the table, and small pieces were cracking under his grip.

The teacher pulled everyone's attention back to the front of the room, embarrassing the guys in the process. I heard a bigger crack from next to me, and saw a small piece of the table broken off, and in a flash Jasper was out of his seat, and out the door. I sat dumbfounded for a second while the teacher looked outraged. Not thinking, I rose from my seat and went after Jasper.

I found him in the hallway a foot or two away from the class leaning against the lockers on the wall. His eyes were closed and his hands were in fists at his side. I slowly walked over to him.

"Jasper-" I was cut off by him grabbing me and kissing me. He had one arm around my waist pulling me to him, and one hand in my hair. He kissed me furiously and I couldn't put my mind around what was happening. Edward had never kissed me like this, embarrassing enough, I was kissing him back. In an instant he stopped and jumped away from me like you would from a fire.

"Shit!" He yelled, and then he was gone. I was left standing in the hall completely motionless. One hand was lightly touching my lips where his just were. Holy crow, I was in trouble.

**Yay! Kiss-age! But oh the drama! Please review this one to tell me if you liked it, so I know if I'm doing okay with my first story. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I want to thank all of you that left reviews for the last chapter. You are all so nice, and it helps to know that you guys actually like my story! You are all very awesome people :) This one is kinda short, sorry about that! Hope you like it though!**

**I don't own Twilight or the characters or any of that**

BPOV

Jasper hadn't met us after school to ride home, and Alice and Edward were both confused. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't tell Edward because I was so afraid that he would be mad at Jasper… and at me for kissing back. I closed my eyes trying to erase the events from earlier. I told them that he left early probably to go hunt. I hated lying, but I wanted to speak to Jasper before I told Edward anything. I was feeling so guilty I couldn't even think straight.

When we arrived home, Jasper wasn't there. Esme hadn't seen him, but didn't seem too worried yet because of my alibi for him. After a few hours went by, and it was starting to get dark, I could barely take it anymore. I was antsy and fidgeting way too much.

"Is something wrong, love? You have been acting different since school." Edward asked, the concern was showing in his loving eyes. We were sitting on our bed, and his arm was around me while I was cuddled into his side. We had been watching some movie that I couldn't tell you anything about because my mind was elsewhere.

"No, I've just been thinking a lot. I can remember when I first woke up after I was changed, and everything up until now. I just wish I could remember anything from my human life. I don't even know what my last name was," I answered. It wasn't really a lie, because it had been bugging me, especially since I had come to Forks.

"I never knew how badly this upsets you. I'm sorry if I've seemed heartless about it in the past," He said softly. I smiled at him thinking about how lucky I was to have him, and here I was being stupid and having unexplained feelings for Jasper. But it didn't stop my need to talk to him.

"You've been perfect," I said kissing him lightly. I rose to my feet and went to the window. "I'm going to hunt and clear my head a bit to get out of my bad mood. I'll be back in a little while," I said, just as I was about to jump, I felt his arms around me.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked just to extend the offer. He knew I wanted to be alone, but the gentleman in him made him ask.

"Thank you, I'll be okay though," I said. He kissed my forehead and watched as I jumped out the window. I started running, not knowing where I was going. But suddenly I was hit by a familiar scent… Jasper.

JPOV

I didn't know how long I had been sitting on the old park bench that had been in that same spot for years. Oddly enough, it withstood 50 years of weather and the lord knows what else. I could see our initials very lightly where I had carved them so long ago. "B.S + J.W". It had been painted over, but the depth of the carving was enough to still make it visible. I heard a noise, and noticed the scent before she came into view; a perfect mixture of freesias, strawberry shampoo, and vanilla.

She didn't say anything; she just walked over and took a seat next to me on the bench. I was still looking at our initials and she followed my gaze until she saw it. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second, and then she looked away.

"Are you okay?" She asked almost on a whisper. I almost laughed, that's the Bella I knew and loved. Someone could have wronged her in any way, but she would still ask if they were alright.

"I should be asking you that. I'm so sorry about earlier today-" I started. She cut me off before I could finish.

"I understand why you did it, Jasper," She said. I looked at her trying to decipher if she really knew. I hated that I couldn't read her emotions.

"You do?" I asked. My insides were in a knot, was this what I was waiting for? It couldn't be, she was way too calm.

"All those guys feeling so lustful toward me, there was more than five that were openly staring. That's a lot of emotions running through the room, I understand. I'm not angry at you," She said softly, putting her tiny hand on my shoulder to relax me. How wrong she was, but if I told her that the feelings of those adolescent idiots had nothing to do with why I kissed her, she wouldn't be so understanding.

"That's no excuse. I took advantage of you, and I will never be able to forgive myself," I said lamely, not looking anywhere but at my hands.

"Look at me," She said. She remained quiet until I reluctantly turned to face her. "I do not blame you, so you aren't allowed to blame yourself. I haven't said anything to Edward or anyone else, and I won't. Please don't shut me out though. This is probably crazy to you, but I think of you as a best friend. I can't stand it when you don't talk to me," She said, even quieter than before. I could barely hear it, even with vampire hearing. It nearly broke my nonexistent heart.

"It's not crazy, you mean a lot more to me than you know," I said just as quietly. She smiled at me, the same smile that, as a human, made my knees weak and rendered me breathless. She leaned her head on my shoulders, and together we sat there looking at the stars and listening to the wildlife around us. Every part of me wished that we could stay there forever. Though I knew that we couldn't, and that my brother was waiting at home for her to return, I smiled. My short version of Heaven.

**I'm even getting frustrated at myself for not having Bella find out anything yet, but I promise it works out better this way. I almost erased all my progress just to make it go by faster, but that would have been lame haha. Hope you guys are enjoying it. Let me know if there is anything I need to work on!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Okay things should start picking up after this chapter, you will see what I mean :) Hopefully this one is a little longer for you guys :)**

JPOV

The next day, school flew by quickly. I rode my new motorcycle to school, avoiding the need to ride in the car with Edward and Bella. After I returned home last night, Bella was already in her room with Edward. As I walked by their door to get to my room, I could hear them inside. She was telling him that she loved him. What's another blow to the heart? So trying to avoid all the love in the air the next morning, I left before anyone else did, and parked my new baby near the entrance of the school.

Third period came, and Edward was pretty quiet most of the hour. He seemed to be deep in thought, which was fine by me. He had no reason to think anything wrong, because the previous night, I ran back with Bella and made her go in and waited another hour until I came home. I didn't want anyone to get any ideas. But something was bothering me about how distracted he was.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked, a little harsher than I should have been. He seemed completely oblivious because he smiled at me.

"I'm trying to plan something out," Edward said still distracted. I was confused, and was about to ask him to elaborate when the bell rang. He got up quickly, still seeming excited. I decided to let it go, and avoid unnecessary conversation with him. I was becoming something that I didn't like, and he didn't deserve that.

I skipped meeting the rest of them for lunch, and instead went for a ride on my bike. It rode perfectly, I loved it. All too soon, the lunch hour was up and I made my way back to school.

I sat through another long class, and perked up when it was time for my last class. I had to deal with all the boys in the class lusting after Bella, but I could deal with it as long as I got to spend some time with her. I caught up to her right outside the class and she smiled as we walked in together.

"Ah, Mr. Hale and Miss Mason, so nice of you to join us," Mrs. Newton cooed. I cringed at the use of Edward's human name. Bella didn't know her human last name, and you needed one in order to register at the school. Edward was quick to offer his, which Bella accepted. Mrs. Newton had two pink slips in her hand waiting for us. Bella looked confused.

"Detention," I said quiet enough so only she could hear me. We took the slips and saw that our detention was for today after school. Bella seemed a little upset.

"How mean," She said, pouting. I laughed at her adorable expression.

"I'm sorry. I'll try and get you out of it. It was my fault," I said. She looked at me like I was crazy.

"No way, I didn't have to leave class. It won't be so bad if we're both there," She said lightly. I smiled.

Class went by too fast, and when it let out, Edward was in the hall waiting for us, while Alice danced up behind him. Rosalie and Emmett passed us, waving and smiling as they made their way out to the car.

"We have detention, so we're going to be here for another hour. Go on home, I'll drive Bella back," I said to Edward as I put my stuff in my locker. He looked disturbed.

"Detention?" He asked. Bella squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

"I'll explain everything later," She said. She hugged him tightly, and he kissed her sending out all his affection which made me slam my locker shut rather loudly. Only Alice noticed so she grabbed Edward's shirt and pulled him towards the parking lot.

"I get to ride on your motorcycle?" Bella asked excitedly. I laughed as I directed her back into class for our hour of punishment.

"If you're good," I answered playfully.

BPOV

Detention was long, but Jasper and I just passed notes back and forth so it wasn't so bad. We just had be to be quiet for the hour, the teacher was too engrossed in her new romance novel to even look up when we would snicker at something funny we wrote.

When the hour was finally up, Jasper led me to the parking lot and there I saw his bike. I squealed in excitement and started bouncing. He told me I was spending way too much time with Alice while he handed me the extra helmet. I jumped on the back and when he told me to hold on, I easily obliged. The bike roared to life, and we were off, driving at vampire speed, getting us home in no time. I was sad because it wasn't long enough, but happy to be home, I hadn't spent that much time with Edward and I was getting antsy.

"I'm gonna take off for a few hours. Will you tell the family I'll be back later?" He asked. I wondered to myself where he always went, but told him that I would let them know. I watched again as he took off, not liking the feeling. I snapped myself out of it, and smiled when I saw Edward waiting for me at the door.

"So, what did my little trouble-maker do to merit a detention?" He asked with a playful glint in his eyes. I laughed as he kissed me sweetly on the forehead and led me inside.

After saying hello to the family, and relaying Jasper's message, we were in our room, seated comfortably on the bed. I was cuddled into his side like usual and he was lightly rubbing my arm.

"Jasper was being hit with all the emotion in the room at once and it got to be too much for him. I didn't know that at the time because he wasn't talking, so he got up and left class without saying anything. I was worried so I went after him to make sure he was alright, but he wasn't there anymore. I tried looking for him, but I didn't want to leave school, so just waited until school ended to find you guys. I asked him about it today and that's when he told me," I said. I absolutely hated lying to Edward, and I was doing it more and more. I felt like a terrible person.

"That was nice of you to go check on him," He said genuinely, no hint of malice or suspicion in his voice.

"He's a good friend. I just wanted to make sure. I feel the same towards everyone in your family," I admitted. It was true; they were all such wonderful people. Edward smiled and got up quickly going over to his desk. He opened the drawer and pulled something out of it, but it was so quick and I wasn't paying much attention.

"I'm glad you feel that way, they all love you too. And you know I love you," He said sweetly. I smiled at him.

"I love you too," I said. Downstairs I could hear Emmett laughing at something; I looked out of our door that was open to see if I could see him, but I couldn't. When I looked back, Edward was in front of me on his knee with a small box in his hand. My eye popped open and he chuckled as he opened the box revealing a beautiful engagement ring. It was just a tad bit bigger than the one on my right hand and had a little more detail along the band.

"Bella, I know it upsets you that you don't remember anything from your previous life because you feel like you don't know where you came from. I know I can't change your past, but if you let me, I would love to be your future. Will you marry me?" He asked.

I was too shocked to say anything at first. I loved him; there was no doubt about it. Why was I stalling? Jasper filled my mind, and I argued with myself. _You love Edward. You are just upset because you can't figure out what it is about Jasper that makes you feel the way you do._ I realized that I was right. There was nothing going on between Jasper and I but friendship. My stomach relaxed, and I smiled.

"Yes," I breathed. Edward's face broke into his beautiful, dazzling smile, and I was in his arms in an instant. Something caught the corner of my eye outside our doorway, Jasper. I froze for a second, and when Edward felt that, he too turned to see what I was looking at.

Jasper smiled quickly at us. "Congratulations," He said quickly. Edward smiled at him and nodded his thanks. I must have looked confused, because Jasper and I locked eyes for a second before he turned around and walked away.

**Ouch, I'm so mean to poor Jasper. Review if you will, let me know if I need to work on it, if I should continue, or quit forever! Lol really, the reviews do help me keep this story going. I'm glad you guys seem to like it!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter was difficult to write for some reason. I don't know if I captured the feelings well enough. But I tried to make it longer, and I changed to Alice's point of view (APOV) at one part so hopefuly you guys won't be confused by that. I don't own Twilight and all that stuff. Read and enjoy if you will!**

JPOV

As soon as I was out of the house, I took off running. I didn't care where I was going; I just had to get out of there. Fate had a funny way of working. I asked for Bella back, even for just a second, and fate did better than a second; I would get eternity. The only problem was that I would get to sit back and watch her spend it loving my brother. A new sense of pain washed over me, different than it had ever been.

I stopped running and fell to my knees. I was completely a loss; I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't even think straight, all that was registering in my mind and emotions were pain and anger. I sat there reliving every moment that I spent with Bella since she had come back into my life. Every touch (no matter how small) every smile, every word, every look, and finally the kiss. I didn't know if I had imagined it, but I thought I felt her kissing back. But knowing me, it was just my desperation talking. I was trying to rationalize everything that happened and find some underlying feelings there. But of course, it's crazy to think that way. She clearly loves Edward. I saw how happy she was when he asked her to marry him. I kept my feelings in check, congratulated them like a good brother would, and bolted.

APOV

I found him on the ground, on his knees to be exact. I had seen him in pain for the last 50 years, but nothing like this. He looked completely empty and lost, like a little boy that had everything he loved ripped from him in an instant. I could have cried just from the mere sight of him if it were possible.

I knew he sensed me coming, but he didn't move or even look up at me when I approached him. I bent down to his level and looked into his vacant eyes. This was nothing that I had ever witnessed. I didn't know how he would take it, but I bit the bullet and embraced him. I loved him more than anyone would ever know, but that's not what mattered at the time. He needed to know I was here for him. I felt him sink into my arms and we stayed like that for a while. Finally he pulled away and we both sat down on the ground.

"You need to tell her," I said quietly. He shook his head.

"Alice, I can't do that. It will just cause her confusion and create problems with Edward. They deserve to be happy," He said, sounding broken.

"And you don't?" I asked angrily. He was so dense.

"Even if I told her, I wouldn't end up happy. She loved me then, she loves him now. Just let them be happy," He said, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Jasper she has a right to know!" I yelled. He looked at his hands.

"I will tell her that we were friends when she was alive. I'll fill her in on her life, and leave myself out of it. I have it all planned. She will be angry that I didn't tell her sooner, but I will just say that I didn't know how she would react. Then she will probably still be mad, and then I will leave so she never has to see me again. She probably won't want to after she hears that anyway," He said. I was amazed that he would do that.

"Jasper, when you were alive, how strong was your love?" I asked. He looked at me now, with fire behind his eyes, this was a good sign.

"It wasn't your everyday love. It was much more, the kind of love that makes Disney love stories look inadequate. The feeling was so strong and so deep it was what kept me going. And the only way to find a love like that is to have it equal on both sides. I never doubted her love for me, and she never doubted my love for her. The definition of perfection," He said. If it were anyone else, it would have been cheesy, and I would have doubted it. But this was Jasper, and there was nothing but utter truth behind every word he just told me.

"Then maybe it's strong enough to last when she remembers. Go to her, see if there is any hope," I pleaded. He looked at me for a full minute.

"One last time, if there is nothing, I won't put her through this. I will leave." He said. He took off running; I looked up to the sky, begging anyone that was listening. _Please let there be a miracle._

BPOV

"So, there really is no point in waiting, and since it's spring it will be beautiful," Edward said, referring to our wedding. We were going to be married in one month, which did freak me out a little bit, but there was no need for it. I was happy, everything was going great. Edward smiled his dazzling smile and pulled me close to him.

"It sounds wonderful. Alice already threatened me about decorations and planning it. I'm not allowed to do anything," I said laughing. He kissed me sweetly.

"I didn't expect anything otherwise. I'm excited that Emmett wants to preform the ceremony," Edward said. I laughed at the thought of Emmett looking like a priest. I had promised Rosalie I would let her take the wedding photos, it was the first time I felt like we had a connection.

"Me too," I said, sitting down on the bed. Instantly, everything changed. I was standing in a house that looked exactly like Edward's but the decorations were different. No one was there but me and the person in front of me. I couldn't see who he was, but I noticed his eyes. They were blue, and beautiful. He held my face gently with both hands, and was looking deeply into my own eyes.

_"I love you Isabella Swan,"_ He said tenderly.

The next thing I knew, Edward was kneeling in front of me, lightly caressing my cheek.

"Are you alright, love?" He asked, clearly concerned.

"Swan," I muttered. He looked confused for a second. He quickly looked around the room and back at me.

"I don't think I follow," He said with a slight smile.

"My name is Isabella Swan," I said. It was a memory; all of these flashes had to be. I was completely and utterly in love with the guy with the blue eyes because I could feel it when I was having the memory. They were the same blue eyes I remembered while playing baseball! A new sense of excitement filled me and I was throwing myself into Edward's arms and laughing.

"It's nearly as beautiful as you are love," He said laughing at my joy. I felt a loss for my blue eyed love though, wondering what ever happened, and if he missed me. I hoped this would start triggering the rest of my memories.

"Is there a way that you could look me up?" I asked shyly. Edward smiled.

"I'm not sure if they will have anything, but I will go speak to Carlisle about it. We'll check old newspaper articles," He said. I thanked him with a kiss, and he started walking to Carlisle's study.

JPOV

I walked by her door, and saw her smiling widely at nothing. She was probably so excited about her upcoming marriage that she couldn't contain her smile. I almost walked right past, but she saw me.

"Jasper!" She cried excitedly. Didn't she know this was killing me? I instantly felt bad about thinking that way. I walked into her room slowly, and in a flash she was in my arms, hugging me so hard I nearly lost my footing.

After the confusion died out, I relaxed into her embrace and pulled her a little closer. I closed my eyes as I inhaled her scent. I didn't know why I was doing this to myself, but I loved this feeling too much to pull away.

"Excited about the wedding?" I asked after she let me go. She stood in front of me, with her dazzling smile, good god she was beautiful.

"Well, yes. It's happening next month. But that's not all," She said smiling even wider. I felt like I took a hit to the gut. _Next month?! _

"What happened?" I asked trying to sound excited for her.

"I remembered my name! Isabella Swan! Isn't that beautiful?" She asked. Everything stopped, can a heart that doesn't beat stop? How much did she remember?

"It's very fitting," I said softly. She stopped for a second and stared at me. I hoped she didn't understand that I was calling her beautiful. Her mood seemed to change. Her smile faltered a little, and she looked at me with such intensity. Just then Edward came into the room.

"Just the man I wanted to see. I know this is kind of fast, but I have a favor. Would you be my best man for the wedding?" He asked. My emotions were boiling inside of me, this was too much. I couldn't leave though, my feet wouldn't move. I looked over to Bella who hadn't taken her eyes off me this entire time.

"Yes," It came out sounding like a question, but Edward didn't notice. He smiled widely and slapped me on the back thanking me. He told Bella he was going to do some more research on her name, and he would be back soon. He kissed her on the cheek but her eyes never left mine.

Once Edward was out of the room, she quietly shut the door, and looked back at me seriously. What had happened? Was she mad? And why the hell did I just agree to do something that would obviously make me want to end my existance?

"I have to ask you something," She said quietly. I never realized how nervous I could feel until now.

"Anything," I said.

"Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't marry Edward?"

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNN Bella's fishing for something! Can you guess? Please review and let me know how I did with this one, its important because this is a major part in the story, and I want to know if I did it right. Any suggestions and/or critiques are welcomed!!! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Now that I went back and reread the last chapter, it didn't quite come out the way I hoped it had, but oh well. Hopefully you guys enjoy this one more. I swear I'm trying to make them longer but its not going well. I must be challenged that way lol. Thank you all for putting up with me though, this story is coming to an end soon sadly. Still a couple chapters to go though! For some reason, the spacing never comes out any different when I post these though, so I just tried to bold the POV's and hope you guys can bear with me!**

**I don't own any of these characters or Twilight.**

**JPOV**

_"Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't marry Edward?"_ She asked me. I nearly laughed. I had a million reasons why she shouldn't marry Edward. But how do you tell the girl that's about to marry your brother that you love her desperately and would give up forever to have her love you the way she loves him?

I started thinking of a million different responses, but then something inside me made me stop. None of the reasons worked, because they were all completely selfish.

Edward was the perfect person for her. He loved her with his entire existence. I knew it was impossible for anyone to love her more than I do, but he was so close that it was unnerving. Edward would treat her with complete respect and give her everything she ever desired. He would make sure she was taken care of and never alone. She loved him, not me, so I had to think logically. If I couldn't have her, I couldn't think of a better man for her. This was literally going to kill me.

"I can't," I barely choked out. With those words, pain enveloped my entire being. It hurt so bad that in manifested into actual physical pain. I winced and met her eyes. I couldn't tell the expression, but she looked hurt. I couldn't take this anymore, I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm. I looked at her hand for a second. This would be the last time that I saw her. Carlisle could be Edward's best man. I threw caution to the wind for once, if this is how it was going to end; I was going to be brave.

I grabbed her arm lightly, even though I couldn't hurt her. I pulled her close to me, just staring into her golden eyes for a few seconds. She looked confused, but didn't pull away. I lightly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let my hand linger there for a minute. She seemed to be torn between pushing me away, and staying exactly where she was. I lowered my head to hers and closed my eyes, my lips met hers softly. The kiss was soft and unbearably sweet. I held her face in both my hands now, deepening the kiss just a bit. She was kissing me back; there was no denying that now. My hunger for her was overwhelming. I kissed her more passionately, pulling her even closer and holding her there, she whimpered a little, and then pushed me away roughly.

Her eyes were burning into mine. I wished I could feel her emotions, because I couldn't read her face. One emotion didn't go unnoticed though, anger.

"I'm so sorry. Goodbye," I whispered, and for the second time that day, I ran.

**BPOV**

I didn't understand it; one second was all it took for me to change completely. I didn't know why I was asking him to do this. I just needed to know what he felt for me. Something in the way he hugged me, and the way he looked at me when he told me that my name was fitting. It sparked emotions in me that I couldn't explain.

I wanted to know if he could give me a reason. I wanted to know if he would say "You shouldn't marry him because I want you to marry me". Why was I doing this to myself? I had the perfect fiancé wasn't he enough for me? I was starting to hate myself even more. It had to be residual feelings from the memory I had of the guy with the blue eyes.

He hesitated for a while, and finally answered.

"I can't." He said. There was sorrow in his voice, had I hurt him? I needed to come to my senses, he didn't love me, and I didn't love him. I loved Edward, and I was feeling emotions from the memory I had just minutes before. It had to explain everything. As he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm. I was about to say something, but I noticed the way he looked at my hand grasping his arm.

He pulled me close to him; I was confused. He gently pushed my hair out of my face and stayed in that position. I should have pulled away, but I didn't. I was confused, shocked, and in all honesty a little curious. He dipped his head to mine and our lips met in the sweetest kiss that I've ever felt. I yelled at myself to stop, but it felt too good. The kiss deepened and became passionate as he pulled me directly to him, and I could feel his entire body against mine. That's when I came to my senses. I pushed him away, hard. I was so angry with him, and with myself. Why was he kissing me, and worse, why was I kissing back? He whispered his apology, said goodbye and then was gone. The goodbye had seemed so final, I wondered if I would ever see him again.

There was a light knock on my door, after a few seconds, it opened slightly, and Alice popped her head in.

"Bella, I heard you remembered your name!" She said with a smile. I was still standing in the same place I had been when Jasper kissed me.

"Alice, I need to tell you something. Please come in and shut the door," I said. She quickly obliged and we both went to the bed and sat down.

I told her about how Jasper kissed me the first time at school, and about how I was so confused about my feelings. Then I told her what had just happened, and about the goodbye.

"He said goodbye?" She cried looking worried.

"Yeah," I answered, she closed her eyes and swore under her breath.

"He's not coming back," She said quietly. She knew something I didn't.

"Alice what's going on? You know something. You have to tell me," I said. She looked at me for a minute.

"You won't believe me," She said. I shook my head.

"No, I'll listen. Just tell me please," I asked. She sighed.

"I have no way of lightly doing this, so I'm just going to say this straight out. You and Jasper knew each other when you were human," She said. What?

"How is that possible?" I asked. There had to be a mistake.

"You two were engaged. He used to live in this very house, and you were here all the time. Those flashes you were having really were memories. I didn't think it was my place to tell you, but now that he decided to leave, this might the only way you will ever know," Alice said.

The room was spinning. Engaged? Could that even be true? But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. That's why I had instantly felt at ease with him, and even felt a connection. It explained why I got more flashes once I moved here with Edward. It explained the way he looked and felt when he was around me. Jasper was the one the blue eyes belonged to!

I thought back to the day I spent alone with Jasper at the house, and how I felt certain things about his room, and thought that the song he played sounded familiar. It was because I had heard it before. But now that I knew this, how come I still couldn't remember any of it?

"What happened to us?" I asked finally.

"You were attacked by four vampires. They took you with them but left Jasper after they practically drained all of his blood. Carlisle and Edward came across him, and brought him home. You know, he left for a year to go find you. He never told anyone until you came back with Edward. I'm the only one that knows," Alice said. I was furious.

"Why? Why would he keep that from me? I've been desperately trying to find anything out about my human life, and he knew this whole time! That's all I've ever wanted and he had the option to tell me but didn't!" I was off the bed and pacing. Alice looked up at me; I could tell she was worried about everyone else being able to hear us. I didn't care, Edward was gone with Carlisle, and I doubted the others were listening.

"He had his reasons for keeping it. I don't agree with them, but I do understand where he is coming from to an extent. He wasn't doing it to be malicious or cruel," Alice tried to reason with me. I laughed bitterly. Come on, let me remember _something!_

"So enlighten me, what was his reasoning?" I asked after a few moments of trying to remember any small detail of my life with Jasper.

"That's definitely not my place to tell. And honestly, I think the only way you will understand is if he tells you," She said.

"How is he going to do that if he is gone?" I yelled. I didn't mean to yell at her, I could tell she knew that.

"Go find him. It's the only way," She said. If it hadn't been too long, maybe I could still catch his scent. I was out on the balcony in a flash.

"Will you cover for me, just until I talk to him?" I asked. Alice nodded. I jumped and focused on all the scents around me. It was barely there, but I could still smell it. I followed his direction, going as fast as my legs would take me. Rage boiled up inside of me, despite all the love I had felt in my memory. Why would he keep this from me? I had to hurry if I wanted to find out.

**Hmmm... how did you like it? She's pissed, but I would be to, so I couldn't bring myself to let her be completely okay with it. Please review to let me know what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Because I like all my readers so much, I decided to update early :) I won't be around over the weekend, so the next chapter should be up monday! ENJOY my pretties!**

**A/N Behold! My first long chapter :) Be prepared lol. It doesn't change perspectives in this chapter, its all Bella. This one was also very difficult to write because of what happens, I wanted to do it right, and hopefully I did. I hate when I'm reading something, and it could be a great story if the writer would have explained things better. Hopefully I don't disappoint you :) And of course, I don't own Twilight or the characters and all that mumbo jumbo**

BPOV

It took me a while; his scent seemed to be going off in different directions. Almost like he would stop in a certain spot and run around the area. I looked closer and saw that it looked like a tornado had come through some of the areas. There were broken tree branches flung around and broken rocks. He was throwing things which meant he was angry. Good, he deserved to be angry. I took the scent and kept following it.

I hadn't realized how long I had been running till I noticed the sun was starting to rise. The sky was a beautiful mixture of blue, purple, and pink. It was going to be sunny today, there were barely any clouds. I hoped he was smart enough to stay away from well populated areas at a time like this.

I had realized after I started running that everything was beginning to make sense. From the very first day I came to the house, and he nearly tripped, to the last kiss before he left. Then I started to feel bad, it must have been hard for him to be around Edward and I. Especially because he could feel all the emotions Edward was sending off. Every little thing that I barely noticed at the time flooded into my memory. When Edward would tell me he loved me, Jasper would be tense. When we would kiss, he would slam something. I never took much notice and now it was all I could think about.

When he played the song, and I asked about it, he was trying to see if I would remember it. Even when it started to thunder, he quickly looked at me and asked if I was okay. No vampire would be scared of thunder, but he knew I was. It was almost sweet, but I was still angry. I had talked to him a few times about how much I wished I could just remember _something, anything _from my human life. He of course always sat there quietly. I should have noticed the look in his eyes though. Guilt. My anger made me run faster. His scent was stronger now, he was close.

His scent was everywhere now; I broke through a clearing in the trees and stopped quickly. He hadn't noticed me yet; he pulled a large branch off a nearby tree and ripped it off forcefully. He then threw it against the tree on the other side and watched it shatter into mere splinters. His fists were clenched and a growl erupted from him. He kicked a stone and it cracked through the middle. He sighed and sat down on it, putting his head in his hands.

"You should stop killing trees," I said coldly. He was up in a flash, his eyes almost looked glossy. I guess that is what it looked like when we were on the verge of tears. He slowly walked over to where I was, looking deeply at me. I refused to be pulled in. When he was close enough, I shoved him. Not that hard, but hard enough to let him know I was angry.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," He said.

"No, you lied to me!" I yelled. He looked confused, that made me even angrier. He should know exactly what I was talking about.

"What?" He asked. I laughed bitterly.

"Like you don't know? How could you keep something like that from me? You knew how badly it hurt me that I couldn't remember anything. You knew all along but didn't tell me anything!" I yelled shoving him again. He almost looked hopeful. I turned but he grabbed my hand.

"How much do you know?" He asked quietly. I pulled my hand from his quickly.

"All of it," I said. I didn't, but I knew enough. I couldn't remember any of it still, but I got the point.

"You remembered?" He asked with a small hopeful smile.

"Alice told me," I said incredulously. His hope turned to anger.

"Damn it, Alice," He said to himself.

"No, I'm glad she told me! If she wouldn't have I would have never figured it out since you decided to lie and then take off! Were you really going to let me live out the rest of my existence wondering?!" I yelled. He shook his head solemnly. I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded up paper. He held it out to me. I took it and opened it, realizing there was more than one page there.

In his perfect handwriting, he explained my entire life to me. My birthday, my family, I was the daughter of the local police chief, my mother and father split when I was 16, I was allergic to pollen. I went to the local high school that was just a few miles away from the one we went to now. I was incredibly smart and well-liked. He told me about a few of my best friends. He told me every detail that he could think of. He told me about the day I went missing. All he left out was himself. He wrote that we were good friends, and that was it.

"I was going to drop this in your locker before I left." He said. I couldn't take my eyes off the papers I was holding. My entire life on paper, but missing a giant piece.

"I think you left out some stuff," I said sarcastically. I was still mad, he could see that.

"I didn't think you would ever find out. And once you realized that I knew all along, I figured you would be so angry that you wouldn't want to see me again. If you remembered eventually, it wouldn't have mattered because you would already be happily married, and I would have already been gone." He said quietly.

"Why? Tell me why you would have done this," I said. I wouldn't let him break from my gaze.

"There's more than one reason," he replied. I waited, and he didn't say anything.

"I'm all ears," I said, I had no patience.

"I couldn't save you," His voice was barely audible. I could tell by his face that whatever that meant, he felt terrible about it.

"From what?" I asked.

"The vampires. They came from the woods, they grabbed you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't save you. They threw me down, I got back up, they broke my leg, and I still got up trying. It wasn't enough, they took you. I wasn't strong enough," He said looking away. I didn't need to be an empath to feel what he was. Now I felt bad. I grabbed him and turned him around.

"Jasper, you were _human_, trying to fight a _vampire_. I wouldn't expect you to be able to even fight one off, but four? Are you crazy? You cannot beat yourself up because you didn't have the strength to fight off four vampires!" I yelled. He still didn't look convinced.

"I promised you I would never let anything happen to you," He said.

"Jasper, it was impossible. _No one_ would have been able to save me from them. Stop beating yourself up about this, seriously. If you don't I will never forgive you," I said heatedly. It brought some understanding to why he kept my life a secret, but it was also kind of selfish on his part. He wouldn't want me to know he couldn't save me. I was still angry.

"Bella do you know how hard it was for me? I thought you were dead and that it was my fault. I only had a small amount of hope that maybe you weren't dead. That's why I went looking for you," He said.

"Yeah, but if I was stupid enough to get mad at you for not having super-human strength I would have eventually gotten over it. You apparently said I was very understanding. You wouldn't be angry at me if I couldn't save you. So how do you expect me to be okay with that excuse? It helps me understand a little, but not much. You said there was more than one, so what's the other reason?" I asked.

"When I saw how happy you were with Edward, and how happy he was with you, I couldn't. I had never seen him like he was with you, and you seemed the exact same way. Why would I want to ruin that? It would have been selfish. I was just going to tell you what I wrote in the letter, but I didn't know the right time. I know that doesn't excuse it, but please try to see it from my side. Had I said something, Edward would have been upset, and also wondered how you felt about it. It would have caused problems between the two of you. And I know you well; you would have felt like you owed it to me to see where we would have ended up. The guilt would have gotten to you. You know it as well as I do," He said. As much I would have liked to deny it, I knew he was right. I put myself in the situation, and it was exactly what I would have done.

"But-" I started but he held up his hand.

"I couldn't do that to either of you. It was just easier this way. I should have given you this paper or at least told you sooner. And for that I am truly sorry. I understand if you can't forgive me, but I wanted you to know that I wasn't doing this to hurt you at all. It was actually the opposite. I would never do something like that to you on purpose," He said. I knew he was telling the truth, I could see it in his eyes and hear the conviction in his voice. I felt like a horrible person.

"I'm sorry I was so angry with you," I whispered. I couldn't speak any louder.

"Don't apologize. You have every right to be angry," He said. I couldn't believe everything that had happened within the last 24 hours. The sun was reflecting off our skin, both of us were glistening. I had never been able to see him in the sunlight, it was beautiful. He smiled at me sweetly.

"You're beautiful Bella Swan," He said. I smiled back and then remembered that this wasn't over. It was just beginning.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked seriously. I thought of Edward and our upcoming marriage, and then I thought about Jasper. His eyes that were once blue were staring deeply into mine.

"I don't know. I don't want to come between you and Edward," He said.

"Will you help me remember?" I asked. I didn't want to think about that yet. He looked doubtful for a second. Then he reached for my hand. I hesitated.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"Kind of," I said with a small smile. He glared at me playfully. I took his hand.

"I want to show you something," He said.

With that, we were running in the direction I came from before. We ran for a while, but not too long. I noticed our skin every time we emerged from the shadow of the trees. I smiled lightly at that. Finally he was stopping, I gasped at the sight in front of me. It was a beautiful meadow surrounded by trees. The grass was soft and a beautiful lime green color. There were wildflowers spread out, and butterflies were floating around. It looked straight out of a storybook.

"What is this place?" I asked. He smiled and led me to the middle; he sat me down in a specific spot, and sat down next to me.

"I used to bring you here a lot. You loved it; you said it was our own personal getaway. It was like the entire world slipped away when we were here. Nothing could bother us," He said. It did feel familiar. A warm feeling in the pit of my stomach made me smile.

"It's beautiful," I breathed. He smiled.

"It depends on what you're comparing it to," He said looking directly at me. I looked down, my face almost feeling hot. He chuckled, "Close your eyes Bella," He whispered. I did.

"Jasper?" I asked, I didn't want him to leave. I felt him grab my hand.

"I'm right here. I want you to focus, don't think about anything now. Just focus on remembering anything from the past. Start with the memory you had earlier, see if that's a trigger," He said. I cleared my mind completely except for the blue eyes, and the way his voice sounded when he told me he loved me.

Jasper lightly began singing to me; I didn't need the guitar to recognize the song. It was the song he played for me before. The words were beautiful, utterly perfect_. 'I'm yours'_ came at one part and that seemed to trigger something.

I was now in Jasper's room with him. It looked different though, we were both lying on his bed (which was on the opposite wall like I said) both of our bodies were hanging off opposite sides, but our heads were together in the middle of the bed. He had his guitar and he was lightly strumming. I was almost falling asleep, but tried desperately to stay up to listen to it.

It changed now, we were in the Cullen's dining room but it was Jasper's then, beautiful soft music was playing, and we were slow dancing. No one was there but us, we were in our normal clothes, and we were laughing lightly. He told me he loved me, and I kissed him. He held me so tenderly, I felt completely safe in his arms, it was perfection.

Again it changed, and now I was at a carnival. Bright lights were shining, and I was watching as he won me the biggest teddy bear he could find. He looked so proud as he handed it to me. I named it Benny, and he laughed at my need to name inanimate objects.

Now we were at my house, I could recognize it this time. I was crying so hard, but he sat there holding me in his arms. He kissed my head and whispered to me that it would be okay. He would always be there for me. That was the day that Renee left Charlie and me. I was remembering! My room was large, and we were on my bed, it was dark outside. I remembered that Charlie never let Jasper stay too late, but that night he was allowed to stay till almost midnight.

I opened my eyes, and Jasper was still singing lightly. I felt like I was crying, even if it wasn't possible. When he noticed my expression he stopped.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"I remember," I said. He now kneeled in front of me. He lightly took my right hand and touched the engagement ring that he must have given me. I looked back at him hopefully.

"I saw you looking at this when we were sixteen. I paid the guy right then and there when you went off looking at the art store. I also paid him to keep in on display just to see if you still would want it when it was time for me to propose," He said lightly.

I remembered going to the store so many times, and always looking at this ring. I remembered once I went in without Jasper and after I saw it still there, I had asked owner why no one had ever bought it. It was so beautiful I figured it would sell right away.

_"Someone has already bought it. He asked me to keep it on hold for a while, but leave it on display in case the girl he bought it for decides she wants a different one. That way he can tell if she keeps looking at this one," He said._

_"Wow, that must have cost a lot of money," I said, I was sad that someone had bought it though, because it was the only one like that in the store._

_"A lot more than a boy his age should be spending," The owner said with a smile._

"I can't believe you did that! And when we were only sixteen! What if we didn't end up together?" I asked playfully.

"There wasn't any doubt in my mind that I would end up with you. I knew even then that I wanted to marry you. But if I asked you when we were sixteen it probably would have freaked you out," He said with a small smile. I laughed.

"Is this where you proposed?" I asked. He nodded.

"In this very spot. You were sitting right where you were, and I was in front of you like I am now," He said.

"This must sound sick, but will you do it again? I just want to remember," I asked him quietly.

"The same exact words?" He asked.

"Do you remember that far back?" I asked. He rolled his eyes.

"It was the most important day of my life. Of course I remember it," He said softly. I smiled, I couldn't believe it.

"Please?" I asked. He looked a little embarrassed. He took the ring off my finger and put it in his pocket. He was on one knee now, and looking at me.

"Bella, I love you, more than anything in this world, you know that. I was in love with you before we even got together, and I know I will spend the rest of my life loving you. Will you do the same?" He pulled the ring out of his pocket and held it out to me. _I closed my eyes, and I was in this meadow, but in different clothes, and with different eyes. _

_Jasper had looked so nervous as he held the box to me. I gasped when I saw the ring. His big blue eyes were hopeful, and the sun was shining off of his golden blonde hair. I felt my eyes fill with tears, my heartbeat speed up, and a nervous yet happy feeling envelope my entire body._

"I'm yours," I whispered as I opened my eyes again. Jasper's eyes were wide, and I laughed. I couldn't believe I was remembering all of this! I lunged myself into his arms, and he held me close. I was so excited that I could remember this, that I wasn't paying attention to anything around us. The meadow seemed to have that effect on the both of us. Before either of us pulled back, we heard someone clear their throat.

I was so wrapped up in the past, I didn't even think about the present. All there was to me was Jasper and the meadow. I pulled myself away from Jasper and looked over. My stomach dropped, and guilt washed over me completely. Edward was watching the two of us looking a little hurt and very confused.

**Poor Edward, poor Jasper, and poor Bella. Love triangles suck haha. So how did I do? Please let me know if you liked it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN Okay this might be short and I am so sorry for that, I also didn't have a lot of time to look over it, as i am in a hurry so I'm so sorry if it seems kinda random or doesn't make sense. But I wanted to get this up because it is one of the last chapters and I made you guys wait like 3 days. So please bear with me! Hope you enjoy!**

**JPOV**

In a few simple hours, my life seemed to change completely. I had been ready to give up and do the right thing. But then here comes Bella, and it makes me rethink everything. There had to be a reason why she got to me before I left, right? That had to be a sign. And after she started understanding my twisted reasoning behind lying to her, she actually wanted to remember what happened before. She asked me to help her, and I could feel complete happiness encompass my body. I didn't know if I was equipped to help her, but I was willing to do whatever she asked of me.

As I sung the song I wrote for her, I could tell by the expressions on her face that she was remembering something. A light smile would grace her lips, and it completely floored me. All of my dreams seemed to be coming true! The last thing she wanted to remember was the proposal, and that was the most difficult for me. It was the most important day of my life (human and vampire) and to share it again would be painful if she didn't remember or even care. All it took was her faint 'please' and the look in her eyes to get me to break. Who am I kidding; I can't deny this girl anything.

My prayers seemed to be answered when she remembered it, she even answered me the way she had all those years ago. I don't have a heart, but I knew that if I had one, it would be pounding against my chest so hard, I would think it possible to pound right through. She was then in my arms, and the world finally seemed right. I clung to her with a fervor that couldn't be denied. She seemed so delicate in my arms, but I couldn't seem to bring her close enough. As I took in her scent, I forgot the world around me. It was just Bella and I in our meadow, that is, until someone cleared their throat. I knew who it was before I looked. How could I be stupid enough to forget that my love was in love with someone else?

Bella pulled away from me quickly, and we both stood up slowly. Edward walked over to us, his expression was guarded, but I could see some pain behind his eyes. I felt terrible.

"Edward, I know this must look weird-" I started, but he stopped me by holding his hand up.

"I think I know what this is about. Carlisle and I were able to find one article in the local newspaper about your human life. The day you went missing, you were with Jasper," He said, not sounding angry at all. That confused me enough to where I couldn't find any words.

"He was helping me remember, but there's more to it than that," Bella said. She looked at me for a second without any emotion, my stomach felt hollow. Edward's eyebrows furrowed for a second.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, love." He said, taking her hands in his. He then noticed the note that I had given her. She handed it to him, and he quickly read over it. When he finished, he looked up to me with a hard expression. "That doesn't seem like something a best friend would do, how come you've kept this from her until now?" He asked. He wasn't even that angry with me from what I could tell, which made me feel even worse.

"Jasper and I were more than friends. We were engaged. He was trying to do the noble thing and let us be happy without adding any drama to the situation, but then I started to remember things. I needed answers so I followed him here," Bella lied. I know she was basically saving my ass, and she didn't want to drag Alice into this either. She was too nice for her own good.

Edward seemed to be thinking about something and trying not to let his emotions show. He looked at me for a while, and then back to Bella. He must have been wondering what he walked in on.

"So you two were together before she was changed, but when we came across Jasper, you were gone," Edward said, trying to figure it out. I was waiting for the explosion of anger.

"The vampires that took me were part of an army in some way. A woman named Maria was gathering newborns to fight, but they never told me the real reason behind it. When she had enough men, she wanted a female that could be mistaken for her. I knew that I was in danger, but I had no other option. The guys there weren't bad; they were doing what she told them to because they didn't have a choice. They looked out for me in a way, even though they were all dealing with the bloodlust and super strength. I never went through bloodlust, the thought of killing a human appalled me, and for that Maria was ready to kill me. One of them convinced her that she still needed me so she kept me there. Before we even got to fight, people who I now know are the Volturri, came and instantly started killing off people. They came across me and my unusual diet and they wanted to keep me for questioning. That's when they found out that I was a shield. No matter what they did to me, I was unharmed. So he offered me a job, which I sweetly declined but promised to reconsider at a later time. He took me to Alaska to find a coven with a similar diet, and that's how I came across Tanya and her sisters," Bella explained. I had always wondered what happened, and why they left me there. I should have asked her long ago that might have sparked a memory also.

"And that's why you left for a year. To see if you could find her?" Edward asked me. His face was so hard to read, and I couldn't feel his emotions. He was blocking me out.

"Yes," I answered quietly. He nodded.

"Can you please give us a moment?" He asked. I owed him more than that.

"Yeah," I said. I was about to go when he stopped me.

"Don't go far, I want to talk to you after," He said quietly.

I went through the trees to a clearing where I could still see them, but I couldn't really hear them. They didn't seem angry with each other, just talking like it was nothing at all. That didn't give me much hope, but I felt like I didn't even deserve to have hope anymore. He was talking to her now, and I could see her nodding lightly. He caressed her face, and she grabbed his hand and held it there for a second. They shared a tender look that sent a stabbing pain through my chest, and then she left, going in the direction of the house. He looked to where I was and motioned for me to come back.

"Is she okay?" I asked. Edward nodded tightly.

"The only way this will be resolved is making her pick. I told her to take the time she needed, and not to worry about hurting anyone. She doesn't seem to want to give either of us up, and I'm pretty sure neither of us is willing to give her up. So I asked her to make a choice and let us know," Edward explained. I knew her choice already. It was practically screaming at me.

"Look, just do me a favor okay? Take care of her. Spoil her because she deserves it; give in to everything she wants. And she's scared of thunder, she will never tell you that because she is embarrassed but-" I was ranting, unable to stop or make a coherent thought, but he cut me off before I said anything else.

"You don't know that she's going to choose me," He said quietly. Of course I did.

"She doesn't love me now. Just because she remembers loving me in the past doesn't mean it carries out to now," I said.

"But it also doesn't mean that there isn't a possibility. Neither of us knows," Edward said. Was he really trying to help me feel better?

"Edward-" I started.

"You could have avoided this, you know? If you would have just told me in the beginning," Edward said. I could feel the anger now; he was starting to show emotion.

"And if I told you, would you," that wasn't even the right word, "_could you_ have given her up?" I asked him.

"If you had told her from the beginning and that is what she wanted, then yes, because you are my brother and I care about you. But I am in too deep now," He said.

He would have given up the one thing that made him complete for me. I mentally kicked myself because I couldn't do it for him sooner. But the thought of losing her killed me, and it took almost everything in me to finally decide to leave. And yet, I was still here, causing problems and hurt.

"Don't even think of leaving now. You have to give her a fair choice. If she chooses you and you are gone, then she will only be staying with me as a second choice," He said, even though I wasn't letting him read my thoughts.

"I've tried to keep this to myself," I said, I had the sudden urge to break something again.

"Jasper, in all honesty I don't blame you. I love her too, and if the roles were reversed, I would probably be doing the same thing. That is why I cannot be angry with you. I am angry at the situation, and that you didn't come clean sooner, but I definitely understand your point. I also want to thank you. You were willing to give up your happiness for me. It's obvious you love her; you just wanted her to be happy. I cannot be angry at that either," Edward said.

I always knew he was a good guy, but it really struck me at that moment. Edward was everything that I wanted to be. I was so proud to be able to call him my brother in that moment, because he had just proven how much he loved Bella, and how much he loved me. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella would choose him, she would be stupid not to choose him.

"Edward, whatever the outcome is, I want you to know that you are my best friend. That won't change," I said. He smiled at me and clapped me on the back. It was a familiar feeling, and in that moment, I knew that everything would be okay somehow.

**Ahhhh bromance... let me know how I did pretty please! If its terrible I will edit it and update it again to make sense! I'm off my lovlies!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN This is basically me ranting really quick on the characters so feel free to scroll down and ignore. But I wanted to explain why I did this story this way: I wanted to keep Edward true to his character. He's a great guy in the series and thats why we all loved him so much. A lot of stories make it so Bella only chooses Jasper because 1. Edward cheats with Alice or someone (making him a jerk) 2. Edward leaves her and never returns (making him a jerk for thinking he knows whats best for her) and/or 3. Edward is not part of the story at all lol. No offense to anyone who wrote stories like this, because if its done right, the story is great whatever the outline, but Edward was never really a jerk. So I made him nice. Also because I wanted the choice that Bella has to make to be a very difficult one. That way its not predictable, and so that you could probably be happy either way. So thanks for listening to my rant lol. **

**This is sadly the last chapter. I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing, you have all helped me more than you will know. And a special shout out to JK5959 because she's been very helpful! I really hope you enjoy! Please let me know!!!**

**BPOV**

So after everything, the day I've been waiting for is finally here, my wedding day. I had been engaged more than once in my existence, and I was finally going through with one of them. I almost laughed to myself about the whole situation, but the truth was, it was very difficult.

My whole life as a vampire, until recently, was filled with questions that I never thought would have answers. I was lucky enough to get them, and to actually remember them eventually. Jasper seemed to have the key to my memories, because after the day in the meadow, I remembered practically everything.

I couldn't believe the luck I had, and that is what made this day all the better. Not only did I have a great love while I was human, I found a great love as a vampire. Both Edward and Jasper were perfect in every way. Both were almost too understanding about everything. I had told Edward about the two kisses Jasper and I shared. No one would be happy upon hearing that, but he understood why Jasper did it, and understood me kissing back. How on earth was I this lucky? I still felt guilty for both Edward and Jasper, but neither pushed me to make the decision. They both gave me the time and space that I needed.

In the end, I definitely knew what my decision would be. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I didn't doubt my choice at all. I knew where my heart belonged.

There was a light tapping on the door, and before I could tell whomever it was to come in, Edward lightly popped his head in. He smiled brightly at me as he walked in slowly and closed the door behind him.

Alice and Rosalie left me in the room and told me to stay put. They were getting everything they needed for my hair and make up. I was still in my jeans and tank top, looking as normal as ever.

"You know you aren't supposed to be in here. Alice will blow a gasket if she finds you," I said smiling. He walked over to me with his dazzling smile.

"I know, I just wanted to see you really quick before we get out there," He said.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Of course it is. I just wanted to come in and see you. I know things have been difficult, and I wanted to tell you that I love you. No matter what," He said. I smiled lightly. He was truly a great guy, I was so proud of him.

"I love you too, you know that," I said. He smiled and enveloped me in his arms. He placed a tender kiss to my forehead and started walking to the door.

"I'll see you out there," He said.

**JPOV**

This seemed to be the longest day of my existence. Everything seemed to be going so slow, and I just wanted the time to go by faster. I was already dressed in my suit, Edward was in his, and Emmett was in a black robe with a white collar because he was feeling humorous.

As we all stood up at the alter, I looked around at the crowd that had gathered. Our family, the Denali clan, friends of the family that didn't know Bella all that well, and even two friends from around town. _Leave it to Bella to make friends with the humans_ I thought to myself, laughing. Edward seemed to be thinking the same exact thing, because I could hear him chuckle lightly beside me.

The ceremony would be starting soon; we were all just waiting for Alice and Rosalie to add the final touches to Bella Barbie. I felt terrible for her; I knew how much she hated dressing up and putting on make up.

"Thank you, Edward. For everything," I said suddenly. I felt like I owed him much more than that.

"You owe me, for the rest of our existence," He said, laughing. I looked at him to see if there was any resentment in his eyes, but there was none.

"I know, I know." I said laughing. He smiled, but then turned a little more serious.

"I'm always going to love her," He said. His voice showed no anger or any sign of a threat, he sounded a little embarrassed. He was just telling me because he felt that I deserved that much.

"And in a way, she will always love you too," I reassured him. It was true, but I didn't doubt her love for me. I had felt it before, and it is just as strong as it was before, if not stronger.

Just then, the music started and I could swear I felt my heart thrashing in my chest. Was it possible to start a dead heart, just for a moment? Alice danced her way towards us, smiling at me before taking her place on the other side of Emmett. After what felt like hours, I finally could see Carlisle holding his arm out for Bella. Once she came into my view, I gasped. At the exact same time, I heard Edward gasp also.

She looked like an angel, floating gracefully down the isle to me. Her dress was beautiful and sleeveless, her hair was left down but the sides were twisted and pinned back while the rest was curled lightly. Her make up was very subtle, but her cheeks were tinted pink, giving the impression that she was blushing. I couldn't contain the huge smile that I had, and when we met eyes, everything else disappeared.

As Carlisle gave me her hand, it took everything I had not to pull her close and kiss her right there. My happiness was affecting everyone there, with the exception of my little shield. But her happiness was shining through her eyes and smile.

Emmett did a wonderful job on the ceremony, adding his own humor to the mix. He was happy for us even given the circumstance, everyone was actually. I figured everyone would be angry because Edward was the one that lost her. But they all listened to the story, and completely understood. They, of course, felt sympathy for him, but no anger toward Bella and me. I would have been okay if they were angry with me, but Bella didn't deserve it. I truly had the greatest family I could ever ask for.

"You may now kiss the bride," Emmett said with a mischievous smile. That part hadn't come quick enough; we both practically crashed into each other and kissed as if our lives depended on it. It was the happiest day of my life, and the best part was, this day would never end.

When people started whopping and making suggestive noises, we figured we should pull away. When we did, I lightly rested my forehead against hers and took a breath.

"I love you Bella," I whispered. She dazzled me when she smiled.

"That's Bella Whitlock-Hale to you, buddy," She said playfully.

"Don't you ever forget it," I joked back.

"I love you Jasper." She breathed. I grabbed her hand, and we walked our way down the isle as man and wife.

**EPOV**

I had to go see Bella before she married Jasper, just to assure her that everything would be okay. I would always love her, no matter what happened between us. In all honesty, I could see it in her eyes when I found her in the meadow with Jasper. She remembered the love she felt for him, and it was stronger than the love we shared. Not to say our love wasn't strong, but the love between Bella and Jasper was beyond words. I had witnessed it firsthand.

I couldn't be angry with either, because who was I to stand in the way of true love? They both deserved it, and to see the happiness they shared made it impossible not to be happy for them. In all my years of knowing Jasper, there always seemed to be something that was missing, and now it isn't. He is complete.

When I saw her walking down the isle, I gasped. Jasper did too, so it wasn't quite as noticeable, thankfully. She truly was exquisite, and it only hurt when I looked at her. I kept repeating_ you can do this_ in my head, and refused to look at her for the rest of the ceremony. I would not ruin this day for her, or make her feel even slightly guilty.

Jasper had been afraid to ask me to be the best man, given the circumstances, but I couldn't say no. I didn't want to. Jasper was my best friend and brother, and he would have done it for me. I had once told Bella that if I had lost her, I would end my existence. And for the fist month, it was very tempting, but I realized that everything was as it should be. It truly was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Alice and I both gave a speech, making sure it was sappy yet funny, and then it was time for dancing. I watched a few seconds of their first dance as husband and wife, but had to look away. She then danced with Carlisle as Jasper danced with Esme, then Emmett got to her before I could.

When it was finally my turn, I walked up slowly, and gently took her hand. She smiled at me, and moved with me across the floor. She looked briefly over to Jasper, who was dancing with Alice. His eyes never left Bella though; he was almost in a trance. She smiled brilliantly at him, and then looked back to me.

"What's on your mind, slick?" She asked with a playful smile. I spun her around slowly, and brought her back to our original position.

"You look beautiful," I said truthfully.

"You too," She quipped. I laughed lightly.

"Tell me you're happy," I said, my armor was cracking, I had to stop. She looked at me for a second, trying to decipher if I had any ulterior motives, she knew I didn't. I was doing the best I could.

"I truly am," She answered with complete certainty, and a smile that seemed to hang the moon and stars. That was enough for me; I would never have to question it again.

"I am very happy for you both," I said.

The night went on for hours, and when it was late enough, the guests started to leave. Jasper and Bella both changed clothes quickly, and got ready to leave for their honeymoon. Jasper hugged me before they left, and Bella pressed a light kiss to my cheek. I was going to be just fine.

**JPOV**

Esme and Carlisle couldn't stand us living far away, so they had a cottage put up not that far from the house for Bella and me to live. It was perfect, and we both loved it. We didn't want to go far either, we always felt much better near the family.

Bella and I stopped going to school after we were married, we were going to wait until we all moved and would start up again. Carlisle and Esme didn't particularly like the idea, but they understood.

Emmett and Rosalie had gone on to the community college for the time we had remaining in Forks, leaving Alice and Edward in high school for one more year. Edward later did something that shocked us all: he fell for a human girl that he almost killed the first day of his biology class. Her name was Vivian and she was quite beautiful for a human. She resembled Bella in a way, which didn't bother Bella like he thought it would. Vivian was also a little too smart for her own good, she figured out our secret quickly which was both shocking and terrifying all at the same time.

They have been dating for almost a year now, and we are all excited to see how everything ends up. I guess it is true, things don't always end up the way you expect them to, but we were all happy, and wouldn't have it any other way.

**Please please please let me know if you were okay with the ending?! I am so sad that this is finished, but I'm glad you guys liked it! Let me know your thoughts! I love hearing them!**


	15. Author's Note

**Hey guys this isn't a chapter, just an author's note (I guess you could call it that lol) I don't know if any of you still have this story on an alert list, but I am trying to think up ideas for a new story. I am in the works of writing one but I'm not sure if I like it. Soooo if any of you have any ideas you would like turned into a story, and you don't mind me using your idea (I will give you credit for it) then let me know! I love writing I just never have a good idea for a story lol! Thank you!**


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